This isn't going to be over-thought or poetic or well-versed in any way, I just need to get it out. I haven't felt like this in a while, and I cried last night. I cried possibly more than I have ever cried and I couldn't control it. This hurt, and still hurts. I really can't wrap my head around it so I need to simply try not to. I respect your space and as much as I hope for a certain situation to arise from your time alone, I can't invest all my hopes and feelings that it will.

Just before I finally coaxed myself to sleep, I knew I was going to wake up just as upset as I was when I fell asleep but that wasn't the case. I woke up and felt nothing.

I'm not going to lie, it scared me a bit but then I rolled over and my cat licked my arm and seconds later my roommate knocked on my door with a smile on his face. I'm upset, there's no question, but I can't control you, or other people, or how anyone in this judgmental world feels. I'm going to make a big breakfast, wish you were here to share it with me, and then try and get on with my day. I fell hard and fast, so if this is it I'm going to need some time to get back up.